Dairy of an anti yoga detox hippy...

Have they sent you a pre detox diet? My friend the fitness instructor enquires, as I indulge in yet another pepsi max and maltesers session..

I hesitate for a second, pondering whether to lie or tell the truth? Damn and blast it I never could lie...

“Errr yes” I sheepishly say under my breath...

“Well why aren't you following it then?”

“Because I am not on retreat yet of course! -I booked on it because I need an almighty shove up the posterior, it's not something I can kick on my own- too many years of chocolate addiction are in the way”

'Tiffany, you need to do it, if you don't you wont get your money's worth and you will be ill”

Damn and blast it again. I knew she was right....

So one week to go and I reluctantly decide to try and behave myself. Cutting out chocolate, pepsi, dairy, wheat and sugar had to be done.

Oh my gosh! Headache central here I am - and I have six karmic astrology charts to do and a psychic retreat to run...Can't do it. Freddo to the rescue!

I cut down- not out.

Arriving into Turkish Passport Control, I look at a line of brits at a desk not marked passport control whilst passport control is empty. Silly brits! I think and off I march right up to the desk, handing him my passport. He flicks backwards and forwards through my passport tutting away as if he is enacting me with my fridge. Finally he looks up and gives me a mouthful in Turkish. I look at him dumbfunded and say “no comprehende ,anglais” (Shit isn't that french or italian or both? I think)

He slams my passport down with one word “VISA”

Then it all floods back to me.... the dreaded visa. That's why the brits are all queuing up with their tenner and passport. I have no excuse seeming I have been to Turkey twice, the last time being only two years ago. Is my memory really failing me that much? It certainly didn't cross my mind at all.

So I am the only brit queueing up with a passport and visa for my visa as I have no cash. Knowing they won't accept it, how stupid is that, not accepting visa or visa? but I can't see a cashpoint so I will just have to use my feminine charms. It didn't work. Passport slammed down on desk a second time “Exchange”.

So off I go to the exchange hut next door where I am told I am stupid for coming to another country with no cash and they can't help me. “Well what kind of airport doesn't have a cash machine?' - I say in not so many words. “It's round the front of the airport” Is the reply. 'So how do you propose I get there without a visa then?!” “Official” and my passport is slammed down a third time.

So now I turn on the waterworks as my heart breaks for my bag left all on it's own on its lifeless belt and my transfer drives away. A scary official takes me under her Arnie-wing and escorts me to the cashpoint machine, handing my passport in at control (bypassing all the queues) and taking me through staff security. I fantasise to myself that this must be what it feels like to be a VIP. I could get really used to this, until I ask her if this happens often and she replies a firm and confident 'NO”

Oh- really? I am perplexed/embarrassed.

An hour or so later and my ordeal is over and I am shoved onto a minibus with a strange mix of people, but its all good. I'm on my way and I love this part of Turkey, it's my favourite. I Travelled Turkey twelve years ago. The harbour-market town of Fetihye and blue lagoon of Oludeniz with one of the best paragliding centres in the world holds a very special place in my heart. Yes, I am happy to see the golden rocks along the roadside and the clear blue sky once again.

I am shoved in between the driver and an english tour guide. She asks me where I am going. 'Faralya Hotel” I reply. Her face looks shocked, “Faralya?” she says, 'You know its some type of commune?” she whispers, I smile, this amuses me. Why would any brit want to come on holiday to have a pure time? 'Kate Moss went there you know” she whispers in a gossipy way. I raise my eyebrows and make a “oo” noise, No more is said, my amused smile stays.

Once in Oludeniz I am met by Bulant. I like him straight away. He is small and smilely- definitely on my wavelength and height. In the car he drives me in zigzag fashion up on of the incredible mountainsides that cradle Oludeniz. The views are breathtaking for two reasons- incredible beauty and incredible fear. In Turkey they drive on the right side of the road, and there is no fence here, lots of corners and two way traffic- I make a mental note, “hold on tight and squeeze up eyes- peaking at the beauty every now and then- oh god that boulder is magnificent but looks like it could go any minute”

'Tiffarnee, look down there it's butterfly walley” Says Bulant, as he looks and points down a deep breathtakingly beautiful ridgeway. 'Beautiful, its so beautiful..... but I don't like heights” I say. He laughs all relaxed. Half of me relaxes and half of me still tense looks like I may have just suffered a mini stroke, thank god I haven't. Thank god we are still alive as we make it up the mountain - of course. I am met by sweet faced Murat, manager of Faralya hotel (who takes my bag to my room) and Lauren Manning, the lady who is running this detox. Well as I said earlier I can't lie. I have known lauren for many years and she holds a very special place in my heart. It is lovely to see her, we hug and laugh about my visa ordeal.

The hotel is right up my “butterfly walley” rustic, natural, hammocky, al frescoy, pooly, with a great view over the mountains and bays of Oludeniz. We settle for our last supper- well half of us, as the other half are staying on another week and have broth, whilst we have soup and spelt.

In the morning we start at 7:45 with hot water and lemon juice. You mean a.m? Actually you mean in UK time 5:45am? What was it I said about Lauren occupying a special place in my heart? (Only joking ;-))

Followed by yoga at 8am. Then juice at 10am. Well this sounds like a great way to start the day and sure enough it is. Sipping hot water and lemon juice al fresco stylee, with nothing but mountains, sea and the sounds of nature (secadas) all around. Then on to yoga. There are a few reasons I have come on this retreat and they go like this in order of importance:

1. To kick me into healthy eating and find that I actually WANT to do it and LIKE it
2. To kick my pepsi max and chocolate addiction (maybe this should be called 1b)
3. To make the die hard butcher's granddaughter vegetarian
4. To make miss can't even sit cross legged or get my butt off the floor- ow yoga kills into miss ooo yeahhh baby that stretch feels ssooooooo gggggoooodddd

Well, it was a lovely gentle yoga session, Lauren for me has amazing energy in all her teachings, full of love, softness and acceptance, if anyone can WD40 my joints with that she can and I think to myself maybe I can achieve number 4 after all.

So here we go. Juice. I have geared myself up for veggie juice as I thought we wouldn't have fruit because of the sugar. I say gear myself as if there was ever a carnivore it was me. Why do vegetarians think it is okay to kill vegetables but not animals if in the spiritual world everything is alive? I don't get it and to be honest I just find vegetables a bit weird. But I would like to be vegetarian for sure. The days have changed so much since my granddad's butchery where ethics and organics were just a given part of a well respected trade. Now I can taste that things aren't right and it makes me sad. I want to like vegetables! So here I go, all geared up, but no it's fruit! And bloody delicious at that, Lauren tells us we have it to provide some variety in the menu, but warns us that there'll be plenty of vegetable juices too. We have it after the sweeping clay sillium - not so delicious, but necessary if we want to feel full and start the cleaning of our colons. A new meaning to the word “chimney sweep” I think.

Then it's time for tasty pills :-/ and a coffee enema. Apparently that can give you a buzz- I am quite excited that I am about to experience my first ever coffee high. I have never been able to ingest it, ever since I was in my avid coffee drinking mum's belly, even the smell made her sick- that has stayed with me through life. My Italian father in law is always trying to give me a shot and now I have found a way- gosh he will be so proud of me.

This is quite good fun I think to myself all buzzed up in my bedroom, all ready to go to the pool, reaching the door- oh god instant loo call. Feel like I wanna die. Two seconds later back to pure buzz relief.

Juice at 1pm is Grape, Lemon and Ginger....mmmmmm........then oh dear I feel intensely sick, then it passes just as quick as it comes and then back just as quick and gone, just as quick. I read in Lauren's detox handout that apparently meat eaters get this as toxic mucoid plaque falls away from the colon wall and temporarily floods the system with toxins. Apparently most people feel better the next day. I hope so. I think to myself. Gosh why do I have to find meat so delicious? I am not craving pepsi or chocolate much to my amazement, but I think I have an entity attachment called “roast dinner”.

More juice at four – this time I am caught unawares- just when I thought the coast was clear on the vegetable front- Zucchini- “what's that?”

'Courgette”

Can't be that bad , I love courgettes......errrr but not mangled raw courgette juice it seems. Only over cooked in salt please. So all the nutrients are gone and my ankles swell up.

Nevertheless I finish it off and I feel proud of my not so little meat eating self.

More yoga at 6pm, again this is alright, my hips are screaming “what the hell are you doing? You know we don't sit like this” all the way through but that's okay- I am observing, and as Lauren says, it's not about trying to get anywhere. We all have different bodies and its about listening to it and working with it not pushing against it, as we relax, more space comes and we move further. Can I do this yet....mmmm.. I understand what she means! The yoga hut is amazing special in its cedarwood octagon, especially in the evening when we are blessed with the backdrop of the blazing red sun setting over the cool blue sea.

After yoga it's broth. I never thought in a million years I would be looking forward to boiled vegetable water for tea so much, but I am! Yes! Boiled veggie water yahoo! After a day full of pills, expressos up the bum and random juices you can't go wrong with good old reliable veggie broth. Add a dash of garlic water, lemon juice and paprika and yehah we nearly have a curry, and with this curry you can have as much as you like. Why can't we do this with all curries I start to think that maybe life just really isn't fair. We chat and laugh together as the sun goes down and then we retire to bed with our herbal enemas for a good nights sleep and sleep well I do. Lauren speaks of us maybe not sleeping well or having detox dreams but I am dead to the world and it feels good.

This continues every night until halfway through when I dream I am about to give an important esoteric address at a very large, very packed glamourous London Church and I realize I have arrived without a dress- I am in my satin nightie. I manage to manifest a bag and shoes from somewhere to make it look like a dress and think to myself well if I can do that why not manifest myself a dress?! - What that was about I can only hazard a guess that it maybe to do with changing.

On my last night ,when I awake to an intense dream of an addict throwing themselves off a building and landing right in front of me, dead. At first I screamed and cried and pleaded for them to live, ringing 999 I kept dialling the wrong number and then they put me on hold. I lifted her up and she turned into a doll, of which the head fell off. I then realized there was no point and walked away. I woke up to a core blimey governor, that was a bit strong. But I knew what this one meant. Finally I had let go of the addict.

Reasons for my detox:

1) To kick me into healthy eating and find that I actually WANT to do it and LIKE it

2) To kick my pepsi max and chocolate addiction (maybe this should be called 1b)

3) To make the die hard butchers granddaughter vegetarian

4)To make miss can't even sit cross legged or get my butt off the floor- ow yoga kills into miss ooo yeahhh baby that stretch feels ssooooooo gggggoooodddd

So when I leave, I leave with a full hearted knowing that 1 and 1b/2 have been fully achieved and that point 3 and 4 haven't yet. But they would have been bonuses for me anyway. I got what I came for alright. An initiation into a healthy way of being. At times I got more than I bargained for, like a mouthful of carrot, pepper and chilli juice. Or the scrawny man at hammam weighing me and looking at me in shock and then getting on after to show me I weighed two stone heavier than him. 'Yes” I wanted to say. “But who does that say more about? You better watch out coz I am all woman and could beat up to a pulp in a second mr Hammam” but as I looked at him and thought “are you Turkish or chinese” I just couldn't even attempt the language confusion. so marched indignantly into the steam room where I remark to my new found detox buddies instead. It turns out he did a similar thing to one of them. This was about as gossipy as the week got I am pleased to say. (The air at Faralya hotel was that of kindness, softness and acceptance in everything and it was a beauty to be in, not just because of it's surroundings.) The little Turknese man came and got us only after a few minutes and shoved us in what could only be described as an incredibly ornate decadent marble mausoleum, ordering us to lie down on the hot marble slab and closed the door.

He comes in a few mins later and begins to rub me down with a loofah. It feels quite nice, but I am feeling still slighted and very very self conscious, as I am without those remarks anyhow and now he is rubbing me down, all over with this loofah and spinning me round on this marble slab. Let go and enjoy I think, who gives a f*** what he thinks. Then I find every time I see his face he is looking at my face, smiling and nodding his head in quite an endearing manner. Telphone rings and he leaves me there half way through treatment to answer it! He comes back and says to me 'hate telefone” this exact sequence happens twice more. After loofah he start to wash the dead skin away by chucking buckets of cold water over me and my new friends, he finds it very funny, and actually so do we, as we warm to him. He has personality and its refreshing not to be bound by prim and proper english regulations for once.

He then takes us to the freezing cold swimming pool and goes to push us in! One by one we decide to jump ourselves- did I say it was refreshing not to be bound by english regulations I think as I cough and splutter my way up to the surface.

Then it's back to the marble mausoleum to be attacked by a pillow case of soap suds as we lie on the marble meat slabs- wow this is amazing....the bubbles are massaged deeply all over us and oh- here comes the buckets of cold water again....Finishing with a oil massage in a treatment room. Oh Why oh why do we not have marble mausoleums in England?

All in all the whole detox was an amazing experience. Notoriously they say day three and four are the worst and I have to agree. Morning of day three I gave up in yoga completely and just lay there. Lauren says to me afterwards- 'Tiffany, are you okay?' 'I thought I was” I laugh “ I'm sorry to discover you are not” she responds also laughing and as we laugh- the laugh turns into tears. Shit where on earth did this come from? Lauren is kneeling next to me saying all the right things. You know when someone says that and you think shit stop it!

I feel like I can't face the group at breakfast and go the backway to my room. As soon as I am there I think I don't want to spend my time in hear you twat! And make my way to brekkie where my hammam pals are talking about going to the local beach. That sounds good and I immediately feel better. Amazing warm sea water washes all my crap away and I am reborn again.

Wednesday evening I go to yoga and attempt a few postures, each one produces a dizzy lightheaded feeling, so I quickly give up and lie there thinking that I haven't felt so weak in a long long time. So I just allow myself to feel it and be. That was a beautiful present to myself, made possible my the loving accepting ambience that Lauren creates. I don't know how many yoga classes I could go to and just lie down in here without a teacher getting into some kind of issue with it. At the end of the class the group sings beautiful chants and songs about floating down a river. My mat is blue and I allow the sounds to wash over me and feel thank you for this moment of being....

So now it is 23:03. I have been making my way home from the waving smiles and love of Faralya since 7 this morn and don't arrive until 12:40 tomorrow but as you can see I have a new lease of life and would I do it again- you betcha- Lauren' where's those dates for next year?

Here they are: http://www.initiationworkshops.co.uk/retreats/yoga-detox-retreat-turkey.html

Oh and colonic irrigation here I come :-/

AstroTarotChannel For October

“The giving of love is an education in itself.”

- Eleanor Roosevelt

With the Sun in Libra this month the spotlight is on relationships, and in particular that very fine balance of give and take. The fact that Saturn is also in Libra tells us that we are likely to get a karmic whollop if we don’t manage to perfect that balance. If this happens to you just remember that that whallop is about helping you to maintain your balance. Saturn is known as the hard taskmaster, but also the lord of dreams if we put the work in. So there is no shirking off or cutting corners this month, particularly in the areas of communication, legality, relationships and decision making. But most of all in the relationship with yourself. We can only be right and true in all our actions if we are being right and true with ourselves, so lets get this the right way round. Put in time to yourself, to know truthfully where your head is at and why, and then make sure you are conscious with all your interactions.

This theme is echoed by the full moon in Aries on 12th. Aries being the opposite sign of Libra the emphasis is on the self and not relationships so if you havent mastered the art of empowering yourself so you can then empower others you may find your emotions get the better of you around this time. Aim to work on the above paragraph but if you get caught by the Aries fullmoon try to listen to what your emotions are telling you rather than impulsively reacting and getting a big saturanian boot up the backside!

Mercury is also in Libra until after the full moon on 12th, the third confirmation that the theme is on communication and relationships. The need to perfect our communictaion with others really is paramount this month. From 13th Mercury moves into Scorpio, signifying a deeper analysis or layer of subconscious communication being entered. The new moon dances with this by bursting into Scorpio on 26th when revelations may suddenly surface and surprises may be in store, it may be yourself that surprises you, or others.

Guess what? Libra’s ruler Venus is in Libra and transits into Scorpio (on the 9th) too! So here we are seeing the theme once more. The desire for harmony in relationships is strong right now, but be careful of papering over the cracks as they are sure to be revealed as the month goes on. Avoiding confrontation will not wash. Instead work on opening and improving channels of communication.

Mars is in Leo all through the month is giving us courage of heart and a lot of passion to see through our desires with, this is a good sign for being able to bounce back up again with any setbacks that may occour this month.

So all in all a very personal theme this month. There is a lot of retrogrades going on in the outer planets so it seems like the themes of community and collective consciousness have the pause button on whilst we concentrate on bringing our attention closer to home. Give yourself permission to use this energy wisely. There is no point arranging a carnival on christmas day if all are at home with the turkey! I was told once, if you want to know how you are doing with your spiritual practice then look at how your relationship is with your family, and I have never forgot it.

And of course lets not forget Halloween/Samhain on 31st, the day when the veil of the unconscious/subconscious is at its thinest. With so many planets in Scorpio at that time and the Scorpio new moon a few days before it really feels like we may just access our darkest deepest truths this month, it is there that we access the treasure trove of transformation. Wow! What an amazing month of self discovery – if we can own the work……

As also seen in the Tarot this month…

Blessed be

Tiffany x

Living your Truth (In 2012?)- A preview of my second book.

I am not sure I should even be limiting the scope of this to 2012. Nor do I consider myself an expert on the predicted end of the world. Not in the head knowledge way anyway. So why have I included the ominous date here? For the same reason that I have to hop, skip and jump over my planned second book along to this one.

Do I even know what I am going to write? No. Do I need to know? My guides assure me not.

As my fingers tap away I can feel the flow and I am just as eager as you the reader, to see what appears.

I have learnt that spirit/guides work through injecting thoughts that appear from nothingness, and the feelings that grow until they spill forth into motivation or “in-spirit- ation”.

For the last couple of weeks I have been trying to get on with my second book and it has felt like pushing my battered old car uphill. Now I have stopped. For a while I have been aware of a much smoother ride alongside me. Where it is heading? I don’t know. Nevertheless I have relinquished control and gone into the trust zone as my fingers type away.

I ask who the information is coming from and I am told that it doesn’t matter- what matters is that I get this out for 2012. I ask why 2012, isn’t the wisdom timeless?
“Yes, but you will see.” I am told.
I become aware that maybe I hadn’t relinquished as much control as I thought I had.

I don’t know who is more frustrated by my journey with spirit.
Me or them.
Is that a controversial thing to write?

I was told by a fellow reader two weeks ago that I would write things where people would gasp in shock and say “she can’t write that!” Is this the start? And so soon? There you have it, I have said it. Working with spirit can be damn right frustrating! Much to my holier than thou husband’s dismay I possess the audacity to scream and shout at the very highest guiding beings there are (look a gift horse in the mouth is an understatement). Very very occasionally I even wished they were in the physical so I could give them a good hiding! Yet, if I was a guide I think I would be stripped of my status and sent right back to earth with a big bump for blowing my top on a daily basis.

I guess that is why I am still here.

I remember the first time I was aware of my guide’s communication. I had been test read at London’s Mysteries, six weeks previously. Every week I had chased them up for a start date, and every week I got nowhere. After hanging the phone up for the sixth time I thought to myself, “thats it, no more”. Instantly a deep, powerful, strong male voice appeared in the right side of my head “You are, you are ringing on Friday.”

I was shocked at the clarity and strength. I looked up to my right, of course I couldn’t see anything. I thought it must be a guide, the clarity was something never before witnessed whilst going about my “normal” daily business. My logical side (yes I do have one) was completely thrown by the obscurity of what seemed like my head arguing with itself, immediately after being completely sure of my decision.

I reiterated to the voice that I would not be ringing again. “They” reiterated that I was ringing again, on Friday. I began to argue with them, but it was a short -lived argument as they didn’t reply. This I have found has become a pattern in communicating with my guides.

Friday came and I awoke and healthily stretched out – for my laptop! The first thing I saw was an email from my ex who as travelling in Thailand. In it he tells me he has been talking to a guy about keeping in contact with exes. It turns out this guy’s ex was called Tiffany, and she worked at Mysteries! Sat there dumbfounded, I think to myself “What day is it?????………. Friday!”
I can feel the smug silent smiles of my guides as I say to myself “I guess I am ringing after all!”
I reach for the phone straight away and am told that Tiffany is leaving, and would I, Tiffany like to take her place?!

Wow! I think to myself – this guide stuff is pretty cool

Years on and working full time in the area, I sometimes wonder if its that I am tired, blocked, or so constantly attuned that I don’t notice it so much. I vow to myself to make time for guide communication as much as I can, but fast-paced daily demands and ipods don’t help!

I remember when I first got my ipod, I listened to it as much as I did when I got my first walkman. Indoors, outdoors, in the bath, in bed. Ridiculous. Every now and again I could hear my guides making an effort to be heard over the din…
“ You are not listening, you can’t hear us. Listen to ipod less and God more!”
“okay!’ I would say. “I promise I will listen less”

But I found it hard to put into practice. In fact I wore my earphones out! I should have stopped then, but I didn’t. I bought even better ones! And the quality was so good I listened even more! So then I lost them…I was gutted and pleaded to spirit to tell me where they were.
“Oh, okay then” came the reply “but you must start listening less”.
“Okay, I will” I promised with every good intention.
‘They are on the passenger seat of the car”.
Sure enough they were.
Sure enough I didn’t listen to less ipod and more to God.
So a few days later I lost my ipod! Rather than feeling gutted, I felt relieved and ecstatic to be connected to spirit again. In fact I was so grateful that a month later I got a phone call from someone who found it and I got my ipod back!

Time and trust are two themes that seem like a permanent work in progress when it comes to relationship with spirit- not just for me I am assured. It all boils down to belief. I am told.
Gosh, I think to myself. Looking back at all the times “they” have gone out their way to prove to me their existence, and still I struggle. Believe me I have gone through unbelievable things.

There was the time spirit told me the lottery numbers! Yes they actually did, hand on my heart. And because I couldn’t believe I had just been given them (this time in a ladies voice that appeared in the right side of my head with the same strength, quickness and clarity as the Mysteries incident). Even though I knew and should have known better. My human being could not believe it. I argued with them, telling them they couldn’t possibly be the lottery numbers because they were symmetrical. ( I knew I was talking s**t). They patiently told me lottery numbers could be symmetrical because they were random. I told them I would compromise with them by putting three numbers on one-line and three on another! Lol! Silly Tiffany!

“Tiffany! They are the lottery numbers! You don’t compromise with the lottery numbers!” Came the reply.“I haven’t got time to faff like this- I have a bus to catch” I reply, totally aware I am yet again spouting utter s**t.

Despite every cell in my being screaming ****WRONG**** in big flashing neon lights I put the ticket through and blocked the thoughts, I won a tenner on each line instead of 4.5 million!

After that I practiced listening like mad for the lottery numbers- they did not come! They still don’t come! But, I do know what it’s like to feel when it’s right.
A couple of months later I was changing some travellers checks to go on honeymoon and was given a ticket for an automatic drawer to get your money back. As soon as it was in my hand I knew it was the winner. I went up to my new husband and said. ‘This is the winning ticket, I know what a winning ticket feels like!”
Sure enough a few days into the trip we got a text notifying us of our £220 win, which we promptly lost by being ripped off by the Italian airport taxi man.
I felt I was being shown how I didn’t feel I deserved money, how I believed it wouldn’t stay around me, and like my trust in spirit it is an ongoing journey. Just like the lottery, which I do now and again and wonder why I am putting the ticket through when I know it’s not right?!

So after that I made a huge effort to trust spirit. Strong synchronicity begins to happen around going to Istanbul to work. The whole three week trip was horrific and disastrous. I was miserable and I wasn’t even busy. I just didn’t get it. Everyday I asked spirit why I was there, what was the point if I wasn’t being made any use of? No answer came. Until the point where I just gave up asking and just thought it despairingly to myself, “why am I here?”
‘Yes, why are you here Tiffany?” came the reply.
Relieved at finally receiving a response but frustrated with their ways I angrily told them they knew very well why I was here. I was here because I was following the strong synchronistic guidance given by them.
‘Yes, but you never wanted to come, did you?”
“No” I answered, my anger almost at boiling point. “Are you telling me you only want me to do what I want to do?”
“Of course!” came the reply “ Would you jump under a bus if we gave you the guidance?”

Well, I was infuriated! When I talk about the time I wanted to throttle spirit, that is the time that pops in my mind. You may think it should have been the lottery but to be honest I only have myself to blame on that one! On this one I had felt punished for over learning the most expensive psychic development class ever. The one that cost 4.5 million less twenty quid discount! This just took it too far. Hundreds of miles too far. Literally. Really, was it necessary to take me all the way from my home and my family and plonk me in a heartless, attacking environment that I found myself in? Apparently so- apparently that is how much I don’t listen! Thank God I didn’t have my ipod!
So like I said I don’t have a clue who it is more frustrating for, them or me!
Now I know they want me to write this, I know I must make time.
Only last week I was sat working away on the computer and I was told to go and connect with a rock on the seafront- so for once I listened, stopped my manic unstoppable work stream and walked down to the rock I felt guided to.

I had been feeling pretty stressed out from a previous month of work and personal difficulties. As well as a publisher’s decision hanging over my head about whether they were going to breathe life into my first book or not. The all important meeting was scheduled for a couple of days time.
As I sat on the rock, amazing feelings of happiness and all being right in the world flowed into me. I was told that all would be well, that the energies of 19th July were great and significant for my book.

I went back home and resumed my computer work, sending an updated book proposal to the publisher ready for the meeting in a couple of days. I got an immediate response stating that the meeting had been postponed until 19th July.

So, now I sit here, with the same channeled feelings of knowing I have to write this, whatever “this” is. That “this” is the connection now and once again I know I must still myself, wait for the guidance, listen, trust and write. But how long do I wait? If it is not there instantly, does it mean it’s not really from spirit?
The answer isn’t there, what does that mean? Are they proving a point?!

What about you, the reader? How can you trust a voice in my head? I ask the guides. Particularly when I’m not convinced I know who you are. How can they know “this” is from a trustworthy source? I am told its not for me to concern myself with such things. A typical guide answer indeed.
My job, I am reminded, is to write. Suddenly I feel like a secretary taking dictation and they smile that I have got it. But who are they? I can’t help but ask again? Now I feel their deflation.
I am told there is no time to go through this, it is not as important as the information that must come out now. I have a sense there are many and a sense “they” are a part of everything and everyone.
In the past I have sensed guides, their characters, appearances and have been told their names. But right now I am told to not take these past labels into this. I feel a collective council of some sort.

So I must get out the way and write about living your life and your truth in 2012. Yet my mind kicks in as I stare at a blank page and feel daunted about writing a book I know nothing about.

2012

Dear ones,
Your planets energies are shifting. So much emphasis has been put on earth at this time, but there are more planets closer than you know and they are all yours. It is a human condition to not see the effect of connection all around you. To feel small and huge at once. To feel important and insignificant. To feel arrogant and insecure. But it is your lack of trust that causes the imbalance in your race. Yes you are one race, with many a different face. There is no blame here, as everything is the way it is supposed to be. The human race has been around for so long now and you carry all the weight of your ancestors burdens. We see your suffering and we must tell you how we know that your human time is one laden with heaviness, sadness, grief and despair. You are a special race, one that was put here at this time, of all colours and creeds to make up the rainbow. Some of you chose easily, others were reluctant volunteers who felt they had no choice, although that is never true. Still you have a mission. We have chosen to channel this message through the vehicle. Tiffany does not know of how connected she really is. In this case she is like many of you. Yet Tiffany does go on trying, very trying! We love her, like we love you. And in her struggles of awakening and trusting, she is the perfect example of each of you right now. Time is of the essence as of now July 2011. Shifts are happening, you can feel it all around you in your world as it is. In the Earth, the quakes, tsunami’s, pole shifts and banking crisis. Everything is shifting. You included. Shift you must. Shift must. Happen. We love you and all is as it is. Souls are going through a collective membrane of intense learning, going up to the seventh plane now. For many, many years. Souls have been working up through God’ s chakras. Now entering the first of the spiritual centres of the whole cosmos we name “God”. As you do so your connection to spirit is happening like a rocket going through an ozone layer. But your rocket has got stuck with the fear of the shifts you are sensing, and the human incapability of trust in the unknown. But you do know, you can feel it. It is time to trust, trust in what? I hear you say. In you we reply. We are you, you are we, you are me. You are the unknown. It is time to know thyself. Please don’t feel like more spiritual claptrap! We do love you and ask you to feel it in your bones. Be brave. Listen to your feelings. You have them for a reason you know.
WORK
Why is it that so many of you want to leave your work? Does it seem to you that more and more of you are desperately unhappy in your work yet feel pointless, hopeless, like there is no reason leaving because you will just need to get another pointless job to pay the bills? This is causing a great depression on the planet and is a reason for the rocket to get stuck. Each of you is gifted, unique and individual in your own right. Did we put you here to become clones of corporates? What is the point in that? Of course there is one, but now you are shifting, you are moving and you must listen. Each one of you has a purpose, this you must find. It is there, or you wouldn’t be there. Do not allow the world to make you feel purposeless. Everyday listen to your feelings. Great downloads of emotion is happening at this time, and in this fast-paced world it is important to make an effort to slow down. Listen and feel. It is time your work came out of love and not money. Purpose and not duty. Life has begun to be but slavery for the supposedly free. Yes I hear that slavery has always existed as has bondage. But in such disguise? In such lies? This is now about ascension. In ascension there must be truth, in ascension is intention. Intention must be set to gain freedom. We put you on this earth to serve a purpose, not a corporate. Mass employment has caused great unrest and disconnection, and now you wonder why the collapse is coming? Will you jump or be pushed? Either way, when you land you will see the bed of roses stretching as far as you can see. And of the thorns you shall be free. Listen, to me, I am yourself and only you can set you free. Practice listening to you.

Money
What is this with this manifestation of money?! You are missing the point! We gave you the information of manifestation so you wouldn’t need it! Yet it has increased the fixation with the silly thing called “money!” money- money -mon-ey! Even a silly name don’t you think?!
Money is a symbol of man’s greed, greed is a symbol of man’s fear, man’s fear has got the rocket stuck. What are you going to do about it? Start trading in love. Love, love love, is that such a silly word? Trad-ing- a two syllable word is fitting here in the beautiful give and take. Remember we made the information on manifestation available for the mainstream so you could operate without money, not for the manifestation of it!

The System
This is becoming hard work for us to channel about as the vehicle now is going into fear. A valid fear in someways as her life has been ended in the past for blasphemy and this is being highly triggered by this section. Conspiracy abounds your planet, real or not it is all part of the illusion. The distraction. Yes there are dark energies at work. Your planet has always been one of polarity, But the polarity is shifting- literally. Your poles could even unify and your planet implode into a supernova. If this happens rest assured those of you that are human, there will be a proportionate piece of you that is at peace with the release, and lives on in long awaited bliss and happiness. This is too much for your mind to comprehend right now so don’t even try. “People” are messing with the Earth. People who think they are God and have more power than they know what to do with. This has happened many times on your planet before and continents have disappeared or suffered great tragedy because of this. Now it is on a larger worldwide scale. Your suffering cannot continue, shift has to happen one way or another. Again we whisper to you in the night to trust your feelings, and act in accordance to them, this way you shall be free, no-one can actually stop that, no matter the outside appearance.

The World
Love your mother, she is crying for you. Chant regularly around the world in healing mantras, harmonics must now be reborn again. For they harmonize the shifting energies acting as oil both for the rocket and the earth- the earth has been raped of her oil. Drilled, bored and sucked dry from deep within, she is cracking up quite literally. Plates crash against each other, earthquakes and tsunamis arise. Harmonics, harmonics, harmonics. Intoning harmonises. Do not underestimate the healing power of sound. Look at the power of your communication. If you do not know it then take a vow of silence and see how you get on. Please. It does not have to make sense. It does not need to mean anything to you. just let whatever comes out, out. We are working through each and every one of you to release sound, as this is where you rocket has got stuck on it’s ascension. In the throat. So many of you have become to afraid to speak. It is a big disconnection from truth. This is something the people from “God” who are not “God” know how to use to manipulate you and rob you of your power. Noting exists that isn’t said. The power of words can hurt or heal. They have been used to cause fear and separation and it has logged deeply into your solar, throat and heart chakras. However with the recent eclipses of June and July 2011 we worked hard on clearing your emotional centres to rise up to the throat, and yes it happened fast. Now WE RESIDE IN YOUR THROAT. Great out-spilling of uncontrollable words arise in your world and all is being released and realized. Use your throat, use it now…….ahhhhheeeooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeee. Aheo. Aheo…… to transform hurt in to heart. Do not worry what this means, do not see this as instruction if it does not feel right to you, use your own.

The Animals
Include the animals in your loving harmony, they need it, they feel sad at the disconnection all around. They want to re-connect with you in the way you used to share the planet. Beautifully, no matter what happened between you, the bond remained unspoken. This is something that exists that is unspoken. In matter. The bond is in the matter. Make the sounds of the animals. Animals use sounds to connect, you are one of them that is blessed to be able intone all their sounds, to connect with them all and connect them all together. You are the bridge for the animals to walk across. This is the new ark of ascension. Use it to harmonise the energies and support the bond for they will help you to your freedom. Time to care.

The Ascent of Humanity
13bc – 1600ad was the root, you can connect with the good energy at Mount Shasta.

14bc- 2300ad is the sacral, a work in progress, we need your love, peace, respect and harmonics at Lake Titicaca to rise, clear and harmonise the final vibrations.

17bc – 2400ad is the solar plexus – Drums at Uluru, will flow new life into you, strengthening your core through and through. The strength of the Aborigine and Australian is no mistake, the people lead by example. Strong and true mate. What you see is what you get. This is fate. If you are struggling with living your truth come here to help yourself activate your core strength. If you have found core strength come here to help replenish, strengthen and raise the shift of humanity. In sharing we strengthen.
19bc – 2430ad is the heart. The green green land of England, land of power, land of heart, land of the Lionheart. Brave and courageous, the Lion has lost it’s heart and it’s passion. It has been beaten and oppressed ’til weary and worn. We have been working at releasing the Lion, restoring it full of love. An intense period of this work was in June 2011. Intoning and singing is important to find the roar, the passion of the heart. Harmonic gatherings around the country, joining in sound all the same time will help to end the oppression and restriction of the heart. This is needed in England. Like the green green grass needs the rain. The heart is the very life force of being. England needs all the help it can get. Time to gather and sing your not so little hearts out. Link in with the Rainbow Serpent that connects Australia and England (St Michael’s Mount and Uluru), to increase the strength of the beat and emotional centres. Link in with each other wherever you are in the land. All at the same time, to harmonise your own harmonics and sing out your not so little truths from your not so little hearts. As you do this indigenous people from other countries will know and hear the call they have been waiting for and will join you in your path to liberating the heart.

1310ad -2012ad is the throat – the throat is Egypt. Liberation has begun and Egypt begun a wave of liberation that is being felt like ripples through the whole planet. This is the strength and power of the throat, of spoken expression. Ride the wave, feel the wave in your sound. Let the wave of change carry you. You do not need to be in Egypt to catch this wave. It is felt throughout the world. Egypt needs no physical help from you. By empowering itself it has began to empower the world. You do not need to be there. The power is helping you wherever you are. You can however send thoughts of love, gratitude, support and strength to Egypt for harmonic connection.

1694ad – 2100ad is the third eye, found within you. Wherever you are. Concentrate on Om, candle gazing and inner vision. Direct your vision up to liberation of Tibet, as this is when the shift and final ascension of humanity happens.

100-ad – 2900ad is the crown. For as long as Tibet remains restricted the ascent of humanity suffers. Heavy energies exist around Tibet, lower energies have seen the beauty, purity and ascension and their fear of being unworthy, that they cannot possible transcend into such light has meant they have caused oppression through fear of annihilation. See Tibet free to shine it’s pure light and amazing power. See it burst forth, unable to remain restricted. See it liberated.

Want to know how to develop your psychic self? Join Tiffany on her upcoming retreat: http://www.initiationworkshops.co.uk/retreats/tarot-psychic-pastlife-regression-therapy-retreat-cornwall.html

Dear Children of the Earth,

Over the last couple of months I had a series of synchronistic events that led to a wake up call about the Earth. It's an incredible story inspired by my daughter in spirit, my clients and friends in body and the film "Pay It Forward". And it has led to the birth of a global gathering for healing the Earth at 11:11uk time on 29th of May 2011.

IF WE ALL COME TOGETHER IN LOVE AT THAT TIME AND SHOW OUR LOVE TO OUR PLANET AND EACH OTHER- IT IS AMAZING WHAT COULD BE ACHEIVED:

Paying It forward- Healing Earth/Heart Through The Rainbow

“Earth is an Anagram of Heart” “Putting a Syndrome Right” “There’s Strength in Numbers”

THIS EVENT IS SPONSERED BY:








Please please PLEASE- if you do anything good today- let it be this:

Instead of watching unconscious TV when you get home- look at this blog and watch the series of videos on the amazing story behind this event-WHAT IS HAPPENING AND WHAT WE CAN DO.
http://www.initiationworkshops.co.uk/blog/?p=129

Then join us- join us by literally 'PAYING THIS FORWARD" click your forward to button to everyone on this planet. The success of this rests on that very action- we are all children of our mother- but the tables have turned now and she needs us- she needs some love, we all do! SO LETS DO THIS!!!

"BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE" -Gandhi

With immense love and gratitude xxxx

Angelic Happenings Diary

Summer 2010

The hottest summer britain had seen in a good few years, in London people were fainting on the pavement, high above that I was teaching a class how to remove psychic cords from their aura, we were high and hot, psychic delusions/visions were running high.

All of a sudden I saw a very large, dark and armoured like angel behind one of the participants, the name “Metatron” resounds round my head as if a call was rebounding all around.

Metatron? That must be Archangel Metatron- not my bag- angels.

Find them to be a bit too light and fluffy for me so if I pick up on them then I know it's about my clients connection. But something was different here. For some reason I felt this was for me. Metatron did seem to me to be the least “fluffy' of all the angels after all.

After work I feel refreshed to be visiting my friend Simon on his boat.

He tells me has has just finished interviewing actor, author and sound healer Stewart Pearce and we sit down to watch it. Now Simon and I share a passion about truth and transparency, and at first I just didn't get why he was interviewing Stewart as to be honest all I could see was a very polished facade, my judgement came in and stopped me listening- until – I heard something in the background.

'My god! Can you hear that?'

I was hearing only what could be described as angels, I think only the lord knows what angels sound like but believe me if you heard it you would know what I mean!

Simon could hear it but said he did not hear it during the interview and that there was no music on in the background.

It made me listen a little bit more to Stewart and not be so sceptical about him or angels... Although I mean just a very little less...

November 2011.

Please read the badger blog for another important thread of this story, I have pasted it below:

The Badger Blog

November Sun and New Moon in Scorpio- just how eye opening, transformative and revealing can we get?!

On Tuesday 9^th I was a student at a life coaching course, there we did a guided meditation which as you probably know or have guessed I am a sucker for :-)

During this one the most random (but normal for me) vision of a Badger appeared singing “Roxanne you don't have to put on the red light” which was rather amusing as well as assuring!

After which we were guided to a familiar place and I saw a guide who I have been aware of for about a month now- a Native American (I know I know!) called White Feather, (I know I know!) I was not then aware of why he had started working with me.

The badger was singing away to The Police and White Feather was drumming which made for a quite an amusing band.

Next we were guided to a box, mine was long and thin, and in true logical mind form I tried to make it a shape I thought a box should be e.g: shorter and flatter, and in true meditation gave up when it wouldn't happen!

Next we were told that the box contained our life's ideal work, and that it was time to open it.

As I did a beautiful black fountain pen the size of me revealed itself and I heard the words

“It's achievable, you are already doing it, you are the pen, you will see, it's already happening”

After the meditation we discussed our findings in small groups, with books of signs to refer to.

As we looked up “Badger” the tile was called “Keeper of Stories.'

The group retorted that it was very clear that I should be writing a book. I replied I had been told this many times but just don't have the time, I then paused and said- “unless something shifts like it might do in April.'

One of the group said “ Did you get that from the book?” and showed me the next line (the only other line in bold) “Cycle of power for Badger late spring”

How blatant can a Badger be?

I then thought back over the past few months- about a badger that had taken up residence outside our house that I always saw with my husband , I had heard about it chasing my step daughter! I was convinced it was the power animal of either my husband or step-daughter and it had become a running joke in the family.

What a projection!

Ironically that session was about busting procrastination.

But I still did- I went home and ordered 'The Writers Handbook 2011” Something I had put off for two years! But now I am happy that I can prepare to read it for two months and still have a whole year ahead :-)

Then I thought about White Feather and thought “Aha! Quill!”

That night I was telling someone about a new site (http://www.initiationworkshops.co.uk) and they just randomly interrupted “have you ever thought of writing a book?” When I asked them why, they said “I don't know, it just popped into my head”

The next morning I got up to find post addressed to our last house on the doorstep- even though the redirection of post has ended!

The post was a business newsletter with a heading in mass type saying

“WRITING BOOK HELPS BUSINESS TRIPLE SIGN-UPS”

Yes, that was my third sign..

21^st Dec 2010

A powerful day of a lunar eclipse (deep subconsious stirring) occurring on the winter solstice, only happening once every 398 years, marking the end of the long dark tunnel and the return of the light. Once again I am teaching psychic development, but this time it's cold, icy and bright and I am surrounded by the incredible ancient magic thats strongly present in the lush fairyglen of the Lamorna valley.

(I have an angel teacher on this course- not someone who teaches angels but someone who teaches us angels! ) She is wearing a geometric shape round her neck which captures me.

We go into meditation to meet our guides and all I can see is this shape pulsating infront of me and "Metatron" being whispered to me quietly but powerfully clear. No room for chinese whispers here.

Afterwards we share experiences and I ask Carole www.onangelwing.co.uk

about the shape, she tells me (unsurprisingly) it's the shape of 'Archeaon Metatron”.

Later we open up our blindly painted art exercise done using random splodges and squashing – an angel figure is clearly identified in the middle, of him Carole recognizes him as yes no other than Mr Metatron.

Now I am starting to sit up and take notice of this angel stuff and take it seriously- especially as a week or so before a colleague of mine said

“I am not sure about all this fluffiness around angels and some of these angel practitioners, angels are an aspect of god, the real thing is so powerful it can knock us of our feet, there is nothing fluffy about that.”

It got me thinking, just as Mr Metatron got me thinking. Not too much, but I was starting to wonder if a connection was beginning for me. I come round from that memory to hear Carole channeling that it was my time to connect and that this level of invite was rare.

I leave the door open for the angels.

Jan 2011

Stewart on the sofa with Simon (oo er) has gone live (but no 18 rating here).

Simon sent me the broadcast but as ever life just had other priorities, I awoke last Thursday to see a little poke from Simon amounting to “oi! Have you made time to watch this mrs?”

My head is filled with the amount of work I feel I need to get done before I leave the cornish lands for London in a handful of hours and think to myself “I will put it on in the background whilst I work away - that's better than nothing.”

As I work away I hear this strange ethereal noise getting stronger and stronger, it sounds like a “spiritual clan” (whatever that is ) gathering outside my window. I turn Stewart down to listen to what is going on “outside” as I do I can no longer hear the noise and as I turn it up I can hear it , perplexed for a brief moment before I remember “the angels!”

Now I stop and I make time to listen and I am so glad I did. I feel high, like I have received an angel healing. I get so high I plaster it over as many places as I can think over the net and I get replies from very astounded and touched people. It seems the angels reminded us to come out of judgement and listen to the deep truth that Stewart does for sure posses. Visit www.simononthesofa.co.uk and click Stewart Pearce to experience the ultimate.

Now it's just a few minutes before I leave my hermit hole and start my transition to the limelight and I feel very high and ungrounded, it doesn't change as I hoist my very grounded packed wheely suitcase up the courtyard steps and up out onto the Mousehole streets.

The sea looks grey and menacing, the sky is bleak but refreshing as it brushes my face, “just like angels lifting me higher!” I think. Oh god! Where's that ground! I am all light and fluffy!

I greet the driver (as you do in Cornwall) and sit with my packed case for company (as you do in low season in Cornwall).

Suddenly my head is invaded by 'The Writers Handbook 2011” it's now 2011 and it hasn't had a look in. I see it sat in the drawer at home and hear it saying “come and get me”.

I ask the driver how long I have, she tells me three minutes, I dart off the bus leaving my suitcase and apple mac behind! I run home and send the book a mental message that I coming- yes mental!) Not only could the driver have driven off with all my belongings including my apple baby, but I would have even missed the train I make sure I never miss for fear of being out of £100 if I did.

Well I made it! Within three minutes I was back on the bus, with my apple baby, belongings and writers handbook, and off we went.

I arrive in London and it's the same old story- my feet don't touch the ground. Three days go past and every day I think about the handbook now lying in my bag or case instead of the drawer, still not getting a look in.

I look at the amount of emails flooding my blackberry calling for my earliest attention and as I get back on the train I think once more about my poor neglected handbook that seemed to have a wasted journey, and I think “what the hell was that about- surely I wasn't meant to just bring more heaviness with me?! Or was it part of the extra weight for grounding?! Oh well!”

I turn once more to the emails and start working back over the last few days when I see an email entitled “invite to book launch” from Sabi Hilmi. Sabi and I have have orbited around each others orbit for a few years now, only coming into contact once for 30 minutes. She is so full of love that during those 30 minutes I found my own human vibration could not cope with it and I had to ask her to step back! It seems now I had invited the angels in Sabi was back and I was more than ready to welcome her in now and sure enough she was incredibly welcoming back. Sabi's words herself to my reply were that the angels had literally stood back whilst I went through my growth and now it was time for them to come closer.

So I opened the invite to hear that her book 'Secrets of Angels” is getting published by Penguin! And that I am one of the chosen ones invited to come and celebrate along with Penguin! OMG!

I take one last look at my blackberry and take great pleasure in shutting it down.

My heart sings as I show “The Writers Handbook “ the long awaited light of day (well maybe not quite- artificial light of first great western maybe more like it but all feel's very light all of a sudden!) I don't even open it at the beginning, but for some reason randomly and my eyes land on:

“Synopsis” to submit a book to a publisher you write a synopsis- here is how:

It went on to list how to write a synopsis and by the time I arrived back in Cornwall I had a finished synopsis. The book and I were happy. The mission was completed

I tell this story to my friend Ali- Ali and I have had parallel lives since we were born in the same hospital in Portsmouth, although at a distance- we have ended up following each other round the country, ending up in tiny Mousehole and yes- she is now embarking on her own writing path.

She tells me Metatron is about prioritising...

I think about white feather- and realise not only is it a quill, but an angel.

I wonder if penguins have fur or feathers and ask google, google replies that not only do penguins have feathers, they are the most feathered bird there is- with one hundred feathers in every square inch of their being.

For Sabi's incredibly loving message and book 'Secret's oF Angel Healing” or even if you want

to attend Sabi's Angelic Book Launch, you can be met at the pearly gates- as long as you have a golden ticket!- Get yours here:www.purleyangels.com

For courses to initiate your spiritual self and soul see www.iniationworkshops.couk keep popping back to see if Sabi, Simon and the angels have arrived, at the moment they are waiting in the wings...

Happy New Year 2011- The Star is Opening

2010 has been a rather challenging year for many if not all of us. 2011 gives us a light at the end of the tunnel, there are rumours of it being gentler on the soul and the spirit. I see 2010 as The Tower in the Tarot, The Tower tears away all our senses of security and forces us to face our fears completely, however it comes after the Devil, which is a place of being stuck in unconsciousness, so you can also see the lightening striking deep into the Tower and blowing it apart as the strike of enlightenment and the beginning of freedom.

The next trump is The Star. Classically people groan when they get the Tower and coo when they get The Star, but in order to catch that Star you have to have gone through the Tower, you have to have faced your fears and not clung to any little bit of security (rock of The Tower) that remains, for if you do you will never catch that Star...

So look at the process that 2010 took you through, thank it for all the enlightening moments you have had, even if they have been tough (which they probably have) and say "wow thank you for opening my eyes so that I may see" and now do not keep your head down and look at all the destruction around you but hold your head up high and marvel at the beauty of creation all around you for The Star is here, and as long as you can allow yourself to rise up and have faith in the creation of the universe anything is possible....There is only one word of warning here...The universe tends to give us what we do not expect because our minds are only a drop in the universe and the universe is a sea, our minds cannot contain the grandeur of The Star, so if things happen that weren't in line with your plans go with the flow and it will be more likely to take you to something far bigger than you could ever have dreamed possible....

Want to learn more?

Be in with a chance of winning a place on a course of your choice, be it an Introduction to Tarot or Psychic Development, or the Diplomas in Psychic Development or Tarot (for those who have walked those paths for a while already), worth £150.

All you have to do to enter the draw (which closes on Jan 31st) is sign up for the newsletter for Initiation Workshops which keeps you informed of great spiritual courses being hosted by Tiffany and her colleagues, click here to join:http://initiationworkshops.co.uk/index.shtml


With universal magic, creation and abundance for 2011,

Beautiful Star Wishes

Tiffany x

Reincarnation and Earthbound Spirits: How does that work? A True Case Study...

(Names and other details changed)

Sarah a young twenty something walks nervously through my London treatment room door, she sits down awkwardly and tells me why she has come.

'Someone recommended I came to see you, I can be going about my day, doing the most normal of things and suddenly I feel incredibly isolated, like I should be somewhere else, it's so strong it almost paralyses me, like I have been taken over, it even happens to me when I am laughing with my mates.'

My immediate assumption was that she had been imprisoned in a past life but I kept this to myself as I have worked enough with hypnotherapy to know the dangers of leading a client and long enough with the spirit world to know that they often don't do what we expect!

Sarah lays- still anxiously- down on my couch but within a few moments I am incredibly shocked at how deep she goes and how quickly- let alone the clarity of her information that rolls of her tongue with no doubt or hesitation even hinted at.

Firstly she describes her business like leather brogues in three different shades of leather, and her rather posh business get up, she tells me she is a middle aged business man who feels sad and angry at how much he has to do all the time. She tells me not only his first name, but also surname and age.

She tells me she is stood at some docks in a location up north that she pinpointed exactly just before the first world war - in a year she pinpointed exactly. She tells me she has a family, a wife, she tells me about clearly, including name age and personality, she says that they were happier before they had the children, two boys, whose names and ages she tells me with certainty.

She tells me she is sad because she often shouts at the boys when they demand his attention, she says she gets angry at the time, but afterwards is full of remorse, she says she doesn't have a good relationship with the boys as they fear him and that this has caused problems in the marriage.

Sarah goes on to tell me about how in this life her father was physically abusive, and wouldn't let his mother show any affection towards him, his mother died when he was very young.

Sarah describes a scene where the wife has forced him to see his dying father in hospital. The scene Sarah describes pictures a family too dysfunctional for words but yet what can be such a “normal” picture for family life. Sarah's father in that life just looked out the window when he arrived and didn't speak, so she turned and walked out, no eye contact, no words.

As the first world war approaches Sarah's boys are all grown up, one has gone off to war but Sarah has kept the most intelligent back to run the business- the oldest son does not want to run the business, the oldest son wanted to go to war, or to London- where he had fallen in love with a girl, his father didn't allow him and the resentment built even more.

Next thing Sarah said to me was “I'm dead”

At this point I ask people to describe what they are experiencing and usually the regression begins to turn into a life-between-life exploration. This was what I was expecting to happen.

So I ask Sarah to tell me what she is experiencing and to my surprise she starts to describe to me what her family are doing, so I ask her “are you still with your family?” and she replies

“Yes- I stay with them.” So I ask Sarah to go to her death and tell me how she dies...

“I shot myself”

“And you stay with your family why?”

'Because I feel guilty, I want to make it up to them”

“And when your family die, then what?”

“I stay in the house, i'm stuck”

“Are you still stuck in the house now?”

“Yes,”

What is the house address? (for the first time Sarah hesitates)

“I don't know” she replies

“Go to the letterbox” I say “see a letter addressed to you and read it out to me”

Sarah reads out the whole name and address including post code

I ask her if she want to be free and she replies that she does.

I ask her what she can do to free herself and for the second time she doesn't know.

I inform her that I am going to the address with her to release the part of her soul that is still earthbound, we communicate together under my instruction the soul, to say that suicide is just a necessary learning experience that maybe all of us have to go through at one point, to explain that guilt has no place, that we all do our best at our own levels of consciousness and how could he be conscious about love if he never experienced it? Not that his parents are to blame,just like he isn't to blame, it is all part of such a big picture it is impossible for our small human minds to comprehend. To feel guilt is almost an arrogance, as if we are saying “we know better” it is destructive, it holds our souls back from evolving and causes more damage rather than damage limitation. We call upon the ancestors to help the transition, after which I fill the house with white light.

When Sarah comes round she says her father in this life is not physically abusive but emotionally distant yet she had never been angry with him because deep down she understood. She also told me that she felt fear and blocked around going into a relationship, so not only did it give her clarity on where the isolated feeling came from, but also her understanding of her dad and why she had been feeling like she had around relationships.

For me, wel spirit had gobsmacked me for yet another time!

Earlier that week my teenage stepdaughter asked me how a loved one could be in the spirit world and also reincarnate, I “fobbed her off “ with the line “because we can be everywhere at all times” she seemed happy with that answer but I wasn't! I thought to myself “listen to yourself! What type of fluffy silly hippy answer is that man?!” although it rolled off my silver tongue easily when I thought about it I couldn't really comprehend it...

(Mercury is retrograde from 10th- 30^th December- no better time for regression than in the Mercury retrograde period.) See www.transcendentaltemple.co.uk for more information on Past Life Regression sessions and to download a Past life regression MP3 and www.initiationworkshops.co.uk to book on a workshop an 'Past Life Regression Therapy” all by Tiffany Crosara Dip.Past Life Regression Therapy, Dip. Tarot, Dip.Parapsychology