Monday 9 November 2009

My Last Mercury Retrograde diary

THE LAST MERCURY RETROGRADE- MY DIARY
Week of Monday 7th Sept-
the day Mercury went retrograde-

I arrive home in Cornwall, realizing I left my phone charger at work- in London.
The internet coverage goes down twice this week.
An old friend contacts me via email for the first time in years to say he wants to come & visit me (typical Mercury Retrograde)
Some things are becoming clear already.

Mercury sometimes goes into Storm either side of the retrograde (when it appears to speed up & become chaotic for a few days either side of the retrograde) or sometimes it goes stationary.
The storm certainly made itself apparent in my life last week when a Virgo left my home after a short visit & my home completely chaotic with it. Home BEcame a place of delays, mis-communications & general stress, everything we thought was past was now right back in our faces.

Communications with relationships around us completely broke down & affected my husband & I so much more than normal that we wondered if we should even be living in Cornwall, these are two issues that we felt were firmly in the past & we were shocked to the core that we found ourselves right back there at a click of Mercury's fingers.

Not knowing where we should go or what to do for the best, we asked for guidance.
The next day communications around us clicked back into the present day, as if nothing ever happened at all. At another click of Mercury's fingers.

We had received guidance on maybe moving to Totnes, so went there: it rained & rained & rained,& rained, the skies were grey & the rinses were blue, with the odd new age hippy & shop that looked like they had landed like Dorothy's house from the Wizard of Oz (strangely out of place).
“The Eco-Euto
pia of Elite Hippidom” was not what I was seeing. (In defence of Totnes I am sure it I just wasn't shown it because I wasn't meant to be there.) I was also shown no cultural diversity (which is a big one for us & part of why we wondering where to be). Compared to my experience of Totnes, where we live right down in the toe of Cornwall has more beauty, spirit & culture (in other words there is more culture in my big toe!) & my visit to Totnes made me see it a lot stronger, especially as when we arrived back into Cornwall the sun was shining down on the sandy beaches & palm trees & it seemed like god had made every culturally diverse person take to the streets, it was strangely exaggarated, like it could have been almost Jamaica! This “Jamaica effect” lasted a few days- A bit like a very good trip!

Conversations with friends down here, kept saying why don't you just move out of Madron to somewhere else down here instead of moving all the way back to London? (Before I had told them we were considering that option too). We had been definitely been wanting to move from Madron, that was for sure. As much as we loved our rented listed building from the seventeen hundreds it was right next door to a pub, usually people say “great!” when they hear that, but try living there! It's been closed down a few times, but each time it re-opens it does so with avengence.

We had strong signs to move to Madron when we moved here. Very strong. From the stone circle on my calender happening to be the one in Madron for the month we moved there! (not that I noticed until the very last day of the month when I went to turn the page!) to the fact that it was called “Madron” & my second name was Ronald & most people think I am mad! There is also a well here for healing & divination (my work) & the postcode was made up of mine & my partners initials & numerological data- however it was also the numerological data for 2008.
It is now 2009 & getting married means my name is no longer Ronald,( perhaps maybe I am no longer mad either! Well, that leaves a lot to be proved!)
So the signs are just as strong that it is now time to move on...

Wednesday-09/09/09-
There's been a lot going on for a fellow psychic friend of mine about the number nine around this time but not directly linked to me, except that nine is a number of an old cycle & one is the beginning of a new & today we found our new home. A number one!
This day we had five prospective homes to see & we only saw one-

*The Old Bakery on Bread St was so old the key wouldn't work.
*The next one's address was "Beggars Roost, Eg-los Lane" after comparison with the abundance of the Bread St address we felt it was best not to bother!( Another exaggaration the universe was clearly guiding us with)
*There were three properties in Mousehole left to see. First one came through an acquaintance of our beautiful Buddhist next door neighbours, but was too out of our price range so we didn't see that,
*the second one went just before we left to view it.

Leaving us with one property- I wasn't too sure of because the piccies on the net weren't great... I asked the pendulum if this was the one & it went mad for yes, so I kept an open mind as we walked up a beautiful little quirky lane full of little Cornish galleries in the picturesque fishing village of Mousehole.

* We passed the very house that came through the recommendation of our beautiful Buddhist neighbours & stopped right outside a house with a gallery in the basement.

*At the door a plaque overhung saying "Janie's Cottage" & my step-daughter says "Look, it's named after you!" (Jane is my middle name).

*The door has a cat flap in which is also a big bonus for us as we have two cats & trying to find a landlord that will take pets is like trying to find a needle in a haystack & just in case we need any more confirmation that the landlord is okay with pets a beautiful spaniel bounds up to us to welcome us as we enter..I am not a dog person! But out of all the dogs I do love Spaniels & there I am loving this dog that's jumped up on me & licking me to death so much that I almost ask if he comes with the house.

*As we walk in the kitchen we see a cooker called "Elba". We have just come back from our honeymoon in "Elba" we look & smile at each other & say to the agent we want to take it before we had seen the whole thing, she must have just thought we meant the cooker!

Upstairs we find three bedrooms, one for us, one for the teenager & one just as important therapy room! Hooray! The teenager is happy, & I am happy twice, three times over- so husband/dad is over the moon!
For the therapy room & the sea view over the harbour out of our bedroom window. The house is old & quaint but feels fresh & light, & is much more beautiful than it looked on the net, the perfect feel for a real home & just in case we needed any more clarification:

*The people after us never turned up to view it

*Our new next door neighbour is the village Witch! Now very much in her Crone years, she has written a book about her life, (I am in the process of that & feel I may have a lot to learn from her in all her crafts) As I leave I see her looking through her window that drips so heavy with crystals it rivals Mysteries. I smile at her, silently trying to build a rapport, she gives me the stereotypical Crone smile that makes me wonder if it was a smile or a scowl! I chuckle to myself of the irony. Right now we live next door to a 92 year old lady who is a devout christian & the character of the village!

*Our other neighbours are culturally diverse! Hooray!

*Our beautiful Buddhist neighbours happen to be moving to Mousehole the same time as us!

*I get a text from a London friend saying she has been in Mousehole every weekend since our wedding as she met a guy who lives there!

We asked for guidance & we were taken by the hand & led very clearly up the garden path - But this time to a beautiful destination that was like finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow- especially as it is £100 cheaper than where we are now!

So what did that tell me? That all the depression, anxiety, & stress of the week before was needless. That it was an illusionary glitch in the Matrix, that our emotions can throw us around, all for no reason...Or that Mercury can too, at the click of its fingers. Well, it is known as the trickster. But not for just tricking sake, Mercury is the messenger, there is always a message somewhere.

So what else did I learn? I learnt that I am really happy with my lifestyle, & how quickly things can change, & so grateful that it didn't turn to s*** but turned to gold..

So there I am feeling so great, like what's the point of ever letting anything get you down & then at another click of Mercury's fingers I am like a mad woman on the streets! Everything gets to me! EVERYTHING! Tolerance? Patience? What's that!
My new husband & have a little Tiff on the street in broad daylight, we never argue!- even at home, the closest we get is saying that the other needs to watch Gandhi or practice Reiki! & here we were making a spectacle of ourselves on the street! All because big Tiff has no tolerance, literally zilch!

I left Cornwall after a week of totally mish mashed communication that got worse & worse at every attempt to fix it so I gave up as my time headed towards the time of the week where I have to leave for London. Strangely enough, it allowed the silence to settle the mixture, but I was still not right.
I arrive in London & go to my usual Five Rhythms class which I always love, but today I can't tolerate it & I rebelliously & disgracefully walk out halfway through.

I go to work & i'm fully booked but my breaks & my bookings are messed up!-Seems like work isn't immune to Mercury's tricks either. Someone put R next to some of my bookings & no-one knew whether that meant Reiki or Readings! Unfortunately it meant Reiki & the healing room wasn't ready. I put my head down, concentrated on breathing & asked for the spirituality to breeze through the day...It works, all the time i'm working i'm in the zone, the minute there's a break... I'm out of it!...
It was my first week of weight watchers (starting new habits- the Virgo thing!) & did I have enough time to work out the points in the food in the shop & then eat it? No!
By 10pm at night I am released feeling like an undernourished convict that just wants to desperately get back home & have a crumpet or two as they know the points in that!
How long do I wait for the bus? Forty five minutes!!!!!! In London! Forty five minutes!!! I never heard of such a thing!!!
I turn into the mad person in the street again, pacing up & down, huffing, puffing, auditioning for the next Victor Meldrew. I try to get on with love & light as it arrives but end up slapping my Oyster on the reader & oozing silent anger at the poor old driver. Sitting upstairs I keep saying to myself that I must be grateful that it eventually came like it's my new mantra & if I say it enough I will eventually feel it. When I get back to my friend's just in time for a midnight snack I pick an angel card, on it there is a picture of an incredibly busy angel & the word on it says “Willingness!” I know, I know!!

I get up the next morning feeling good. I have decided I will buy some Branflakes on my way to work, that will sort out the problem I had yesterday. The bus comes quick, maybe it is trying to make up for yesterday I think with a smile.
The bus kicks me off before its advertised destination, leaving me with my very heavily packed bag in the middle of theatre-land, probably the one place in London there is no bloody supermarkets!
I feel as if I am Jesus bearing my heavy cross (bag) looking for the Holy Grail (my branflakes) in a place I know there are none, but there is loads everywhere else around me but my cross (bag) is too heavy to make it (except I am not doing Jesus much justice here, I am definitely being the martyr & not the saviour!!). Hang on! I think, there is one supermarket on the way to work M&S! Martyr & Saviour! I finally arrive & go to the cereal section.
Flakes- With Chocolate!
Flakes- With Coconut!
Flakes- with Icing!
Flakes- With Avocado!
Once again I turn into the mad person kneeling on the floor of M&S first in denial saying nooooooo! Over & over again & then launching into an out loud attack on Martyr & Saviour about why does it have to be so bloody ponsey!!!!!!! Why can't it just sell simple old Branflakes for god's sake!

It is safe to say I am struggling with the Reiki principle-
“Do not Anger”

I go to work. I'm fully booked again, but I am truly willing & able to put behind me the ponsey flakes & it's all okay! I am back in the zone!
So in the zone in fact that when a client comes to me for an hour reading he does not realize that actually he is giving me the reading! After he left I had all the information about how to get your book published I could ever need, down to what publishers are wanting what & the agents that go with it- One of them happens to be called “Jane” & just happens to live in London & my area of Cornwall too! This came to my attention because he wanted to know what was the best address to send his book to. London or Cornwall!

I get back to Cornwall, with my charger & can't believe how much has happened in such a short space in time..

I feel better now. I feel much lighter, maybe being without your charger is actually quite symbolic these days.(Being without charge, being over-charged, under-charged or just plain charged!)

On the psychic side, there has been a lot going on with trees & the name Jane. (Beside the fact i'm moving to Janie's cottage!)
In the first week my psychic friend has been experiencing synchronictiy with the number nine (& who I have been experiencing synchronicity with regarding Egypt & Aliester Crowley) has a very strong dream about me moving a dead weighted plant, they couldn't see in the dream what the plant was & this was bugging them as they felt the dream had a very strong message. We wonder if it's a Bay tree or a Palm tree as a Bay tree would represent my daughter in the spirit world & the Palm tree would representthemselves as one of their names means Palm.
On the second week a lady I work with in Cornwall who I am also having strong connections with regarding Aliester Crowley & Egypt who has a hyphenated name of which the last one is “Jane” comes round to mine & comments on the very sorry looking Bonsai, I agree & speak to my husband about it before bed.

I wake up at about three in the morning after having a very powerful dream involving psychic friend. So powerful that when I awake I realize I have been crying in my sleep. I then hear my husband who is totally asleep say “What tree do you want me to plant?”
“ err Bonsai?” I say, trying to take in what the magnanimity of what he has just said in his sleep...
“No, no,” he says, “it's much bigger than that”
This is Interesting, I think to myself. (My husband has his Moon in his first astrological house which makes him very psychic- particularly at night & this is not the first time he has been uncanny in his sleep.)
“Palm?” I say
“mmm, yeah, maybe” he says
“Bay?”
“mmm, don't know”
“Palm?” I say once more
“Yes! It's definitely the Palm!” he says with definite certainty.
I tell my friend. She says it sounds like she is now getting communication through from my husband- I say most probably as he has a link with Egypt too.
She says:
“Yes but Tiffany, you do too! You definitely have had a past life there”

Last time this friend said I had a connection (That time to Aliester Crowley) a whole heap of information came flooding through, so here we go again I think to myself!
At the time my husband is in Cornwall talking about me to some people in Cornwall, they ask if I'm from England. He says that I am but that people think I am Mediterranean or Egyptian. They ask if I look like I am, he says “no! She's lighter than me!” So they ask why people think that & he says that I am just weird!
I go to work in Cornwall with ****-Jane. I find out that she also has a strong link with Aliester Crowley through her father just like me & that her grandparents owned the Egyptian House in Penzance where Crowley used to do some of his magical works.
She then tells me she had a dream about me that she says was not a dream- “if you know what I mean.” She says. She tells me I was a very large grey cat incarcerated inside a Sphinx that had its arms outstretched flat & its mouth wide open & to the left was a Pyramid. When she told her mum her mum said there is a Sphnyx like that with a Pyramid to the left & there is apparently a body of a high woman supposedly buried underneath it, but no-one has ever dared to excavate.
It turns out I had the answer from Richard about a “Palm” the same night that ****-Jane had this dream. “What Plant do you want me to plant?” my husband's words ring through my head as well as the words “You were dragging a big heavy plant in a blue pot” from my psychic friend.
A lady walks in to make a booking to see me for Tarot later that day, she makes it with ****-Jane, so ****-Jane asks her her name & she replies ****-Jane! Me too! ****-Jane says!
When I go into read for ****-Jane there is a blue pot on the table with a note attached to it saying “Hold for Jane until 20th”
Hmmm, the p(l)ot thickens!...

I get on the train & look over to left- someone is reading a book called “Zennor in darkness” & this holds my attention so much I want to ask her if I can see her pages & as I think that she places a paper inside & the only word I see in big letters says “HELL.”
Oh boy! Here we go again! I think to myself....
(For those of you don't understand the importance & relevance of the above happening you can catch up by going back to the April blog “A walk on the dark side” & reading on from there

This Friday I teach Tarot & I overheard one of my students saying at the beginning of class that she had had a really strong dream this week about cutting down a Pine tree, she said it was so strong “It wasn't like a dream” & she wondered what it meant. This was just before we went into meditation- the meditation we we did just happened to be all about trees! We went to the mind tree, the body tree, the spirit tree, the home tree, the family tree, the friend tree, the love tree, the health tree, the work tree..

The trees & “Jane” thing is a relatively new development that I believe is linked to it all somehow & I am sure all will become clearer as we move into “Janie's Cottage” in the beautifully characteristic Mousehole right next to the neighbourhood wise woman whose Hawthorn Tree guards & dominates our very entrance... I am sure this is no mistake but I know the message is not clear yet.....
So what messages has Mercury had for you? Do you know?
Wishing you much clarity
Till next time
Beautiful branches of blessings to you
Tiffany

Monday 14 September 2009

Our destiny is written before us in the stars...*****

Astrologically, we now have gathered our harvests & we are entering a time to review those seeds that germinated well & those that maybe need to be let go off before they bring down the rest of our well nurtured crops.

Astrologically speaking, Mercury turns retrograde on 7th of September & stays that way until 29th, this will help us greatly in reviewing our crops all over September as Mercury normally goes into storm a few days prior & after (storm is where it appears to speed up & become chaotic).

Most people groan when they find out we are entering a Mercury retrograde period as it has a famous reputation for being the trickster in all sorts of communications, movement & travels. Generally starting anything new in a Mercury retrograde period is frowned upon & we are warned that it will be fraught with difficulty. Whilst there is some truth that Mercury retrograde may not be the best time for progressing forward, it of course is beneficial for reveiwing. Basically anything with "RE" in the title is served strongly by Mercury retrograde, so things like re-novation, re-search, re-negotiation & re-veiwing, re-gression, & re-membering are highly starred for September quite literally!

Sometimes people plan their life around astrology. I see this as man trying to outwit the gods-Not always a wise move! Quite often things happen in our life that are directly "reflected" by the stars & that is why they are happening then. It is all part of the divine order...For instance, I recently got legally married & handfasted on the same day to my beautiful partner Richard.

Richard is a Gemini with a five planet conjunction in Gemini one of which is Venus & I am a Leo with Gemini in Mars. Our Mars & Venus conjuncts which has been a very auspicious omen for us from the word go. We set our handfasting for 1pm on Saturday 15th August 2009.

Only afterwards did we become aware of all the perfect astrological ailignment:
* The Sun (Masculine) was in Leo (my sun)
* The Moon (feminine) was in Gemini, (Richard's moon.)
* Mercury was in Virgo which is where my Mercury is & is also a natural home here producing an ease of mind.
* Venus was in Cancer, which is also where my Venus is conjunct my Moon which rules Cancer producing again a natural ease of love & emotion
* Mars was in Gemini where my Mars conjuncts Richards Venus conjuncting his five planet conjunction in Gemini
* We got married on a number six day, which is the number of "The Lovers" in the Tarot- Perfect! Especially as it was a Tarot themed wedding!-
* The Lovers in the Tarot is ruled by Gemini

But did we plan it that way? No we didn't... You may say that being a full-time psychic means I must naturally be more connected anyway. But that is simply not true.

We all are that connected.

There have been times when something important has been scheduled during a Mercury retrograde or Void-of-course cycle (when the moon is not aspecting any planet- also not good for starting things as they may come to nothing or turn out not as expected) & I have felt the fear or worry, but not to the point of re-scheduling. How would that be trusting the universe? & I have looked back to be amazed at the outcome...eventually!
So if you have some important dates lined up for September during void-of-course or the retrograde, maybe it might just be time to take a step back & release the expected outcomes & be open to the unexpected, sometimes the unexpected has a greater amount of fulfilment in because it goes beyond our capacity of imagination...

Remember, Mercury doesn't actually move backwards, it just appears to, & that there is a little clue from the gods:

That just because something might appear to be going backwards, it doesn't mean it actually is....

Monday 13 July 2009

Law of Attraction, synchronicity or just good old fashioned intuition?

Those of you who read May's newsletter would know that spirit had been warning me that I was listening to my ipod too much on more than one occasion, & that eventually I lost my ipod! Becasue I wasn't heeding the message. (For those that want to read the whole story it is published on the blog before this titled "a walk on the dark side".)

Well what happened then was incredible, situations manifested in my life that forced me to listen to spirit really carefully & take full responsibility. It was a difficult period, fraught with emotions coming at me from every direction & making my own feel heavy. But I got down to it , & listened, really really listened.

A month later, I get a phonecall from someone saying they have my ipod! It was as if the universe was saying you've learnt your lesson, you've passed, here's your reward!

Now I have significantly reduced the amount of time I listen to my ipod. At first I actually didn't want to listen to it at all! Like I wouldn't care if it was lost! Which was amazing as I was SO attached!
But now I felt so connected to spirit, & it was beautiful, the real sun after the rain, why would I want to drown it out? But now I feel more balanced, Like the pendulum has swung one way & the other & now I can enjoy the beauty of both.

I also started thinking that I would like my website to take off a bit more, maybe enough to drop a days work in Penzance & only go in if I get a booking. I asked a colleague & they said "you need to get a search engine optimiser". I got a quote, for a ridiculous amount of money which left me feeling depressed!
The next morning I am doing the washing up before my work day in Penzance & feeing bad for not leaving the washing up to the end of the day! (Cornwall's water rates are the highest in the country, the stuff is like liquid gold! People wash their cars at the natural spring down the road!) But I was feed up of having washing up all around all day & wanted to arrive home to a clean house so I treated myself to washing up! Feeling guilty & worrying about how expensive the bill would be!!! When the door knocked. It was a man who had come to read the water meter (it ended up as the cheapest Cornish bill ever!)
I leave the house & walk down the road, thinking I would like a long brown skirt, I pass a charity shop, good as new, hanging outside is a long brown skirt exactly like I wanted, in my size for £1! After buying I carry on walk down the road & see our competitors have taken on a reader at the same time for cheaper. I don't want to get into fear, poverty consciousness & compition so I figure it is time to give up my day & trust it's time for the website to take off, some how!
I leave for London the next day & stay with a friend. When I arrive, the first thing I see there on the table plain as day is a big book saying "D.I.Y search engine optimisation- an hour a day." Wow! I thought to myself, just what I need! I was confused to why my friend had it as he didn't have a website! He said he was researching in preparation for doing one but that he couldn't go any further with the book right now so I could borrow it!

That was three weeks ago & my site I would say has had its most prosperous couple of weeks yet!

Then on to Michael Jackson... Once again. I am in London, staying with a friend, when at bedtime we find out the news about the King of Pop. Bless his soul, one that was far too sensitive for the exposure he had in this lifetime, what an experience. Its too late to ring my partner back in Cornwall as I know it would be a definite case of tears at bedtime. As someone in my immediate family is an incredibly big fan. So much so, just after they became so only six months ago, the Lyric theatre open up Thriller the musical & I take them to see it, next thing we know Michael is coming to London to play for the first time in years! We paid for tickets. The tickets never arrive. It feels like maybe it's never going to happen..... The week before Michael leaves the world, they proclaim they would cry only if their dad, me or Michael Jackson died... We always spoke about what a good manifestor this person was, now they were worried they were instrumental in his death. We had to do some repairing about good old fashioned intutition.
The morning after, I awake to find a text from one of my Tarot students saying she won't be able to make the share that night as she managed to get tickets for her daughter to see Michael that night & that her daughters a very big fan.
I think how strange it is that the last thing I hear is about Michael's depature & the first thing I see is a text about what we were going to do...I send a reply with the sad news... I get one back saying she meant Michael Palin!

I send a text of compassion to the person in my family & leave for work, the first thing I see on the bus shelter is an advert saying "when nothing is black & white anymore, listen in colour" & look down to see at my feet a post-it note saying "get proof of posting" (it turned out later they never recieved my text, I made sure I didn't delete it, because of the post it).

I get to work, I have a reading straight away & see that the client is feeling anxious about a change of status with her parents. I ask her if she is worried about them splitting up. She tells me that one of them passed recently. I ask her if it's her dad. She confirms it is. He is there, I can see him & I go on to describe his appearance, personality & what he passed with. What struck me about this soul was his incredible strength & beauty, that he could pass over any time he chose but that he had stayed behind to help tie things up for his wife & daughter so they could move on quickly. He informed me he would be leaving after eight weeks. She said it was eight weeks today. All the way through I had the name Michael in my head. At the end I told her this but said I didn't know if it was because Michael Jackson had just passed...She told me his name was Michael.
At the same time the two colleagues I share the room with are reading for a Michael & a Michaela!

One week later (Friday just gone) exactly the same time as the reading above a lady comes to see me she is worried about the grief someone she loves is going through due to a loss. I once again as if on repeat ask if it's their dad. As soon as I do I get a red cross put through it & it's as if everything slows down. I look at her & this feeling wells up within me & I think "oh god, it's Michael Jackson" I watch her as she takes a deep in breath & all I see is her lips as if in slow motion she says "it's Michael Jackson". It turns out her partner was his cherographer for "Bad" & taught him the moonwalk & had been a good friend of his ever since.I am overcome with so much emotion, I find it hard to continue but thankfully it was coming to the end anyway. I go for a walk to ground it. I wonder why that happened. Maybe I need to take more notice of what my family member is going through "listen in colour" but when I arrive home I am happy to she them happy once more.

It seems the O2 are holding on to my money for now, saying they want the tickets as proof, but they never sent them to me! The next day I end up reading for Madonna's publicist as she launches at the O2! It seems as if I am getting my money back from them one way or another!

So what is this all about? These days maybe it's hard to tell what we are manifesting, what is synchronicity, what is law off attraction & what is pure old fashioned intuition.It seems like the ipod stuff was synchronicity. There was intuition about me loosing it, or did I manifest that?
Did I also manifest it back to myself on law of attraction or was that synchronicity? The same goes for the following subjects:
*The water bill
*The skirt
*The Search Engine Optimisation
*The change in work
*The website upping
*Michael

I will leave you to ponder... But not before I mention that it's important, with all this talk of manifestation work these days not to forget or stop listening to good old fashioned intuition....Nows a really great time to do more listening to god than your ipod!

Have a tuned in month!

Monday 11 May 2009

A walk on the dark side..........

When I began blogging & sending newsletters I knew with the nature of my work with spirit that it would probably mean publishing some very personal & maybe sometimes "taboo" material.

However, those that know me would describe me as a very open person who loves to talk about how her adventures with spirit, so surely that wouldn't be a problem?
Well. Sharing with faces you know is one thing, sharing with faces you don't is quite another, although, perhaps I have been given the job of publishing these matters so openly because of my open nature. On the other hand, sometimes the nature of my work can be so controversial even I, one of the most open people I know, can be quaking in her boots at the thought of publicising


Nevertheless, in the words of Susan Jeffers. I will "Feel the Fear & do it anyway!"


The last time I felt any an trepidation close to this was when I published the Mary Magdalene material around this time last year. However this on is like a full on earthquake in comparison! Spirit have really upped the stakes!


It all began over a year ago when a couple of very close soul friends met a Turkish woman who acted as an agent between international therapists & centres. The lady asked me if I wanted to work in Turkey & I refused as life was too demanding at that time.



Then a year later, my friends left to apparently permanently work in Turkey. A week after that I received an email from a Turkish Agent asking if I wanted in Turkey. It was her! & it wasn't through my friends. She had come across my flyer completely serendipitously. What were the chances of that?! I thought & took her up on her offer.
Not that I really wanted to go, nor did I believe it would be enjoyable, but because I felt that this was something spirit had lined up for me, some type of learning curve or initiation I had to do.


Before I left I had a dream that I arrived at a building that looked more like a bank than a holistic centre. It was tall & I had to go right up to the top, out of one side you could see the sea, out of the other the city. They showed me to a toilet cubicle & explained that that was my room for the duration of the stay & my belongings had to stay there too, the door wouldn't close.
They then told me I had to start working in the bar & then that I had to smoke. Then they said they couldn't have me as a therapist now that I smoked!



When I arrived in real life I looked up to see a tall city like bank building, I had to go right upto the top to get to the centre. Out of one side you could see the sea, out of the other the city.
They showed me to the smallest room that was so stuck with energy it smelt, there was nowhere secure for my things & the door wouldn't shut.
I was not allowed to openly practice my arts & subsequently was very blocked & uncomfortable, it was a very trying time, nothing was in alignment.
I asked spirit time & time again, why? I wasn't getting an answer. Finally pondering the question myself desperately, having let go of the need for an answer from spirit they speak...


"Yes, Tiffany, why are you here?"

"Because you guys guided me so strongly" I snapped back.

The anger I felt at the answer being answered with a question outweighed the pleasant surprise of an answer...


"But did you want to come? If we guided you to jump under a bus would you?"


This answer aggravated my anger to the point where I wanted spirit to be physical so I could give them a good slap (very spiritual I know!)


When I had calmed, I had to take my hat off to them for taking such drastic measures to get through to me. You see, spirit do take drastic measures to get through to me. Since June when spirit gave me the lottery numbers & I won two tenners instead of 4.5 million, I had been working hard on trust! (see June 08 blog) It seems now I was in danger of trusting blindly & the main lesson wasn't actually trust, but taking the time to slow down enough to give much thought about what is coming through. I promised to slow down & listen.


Funnily enough. I didn't listen to my ipod the whole time I was in Turkey but as soon as I got back I started listening all the time during my travels (which I spend 20hrs a week doing) to my ipod, once again.
They warned me I was listening to my ipod rather than god.
I promised to cut it down, my earphones were crap anyway!
But I ended up buying new earphones & I was pleasantly surprised at the sound so I fell in love with my ipod more! A few days later I lost my earphones & I begged spirit to help me! (Materialistic-I know!) They told me to check the car, where I found them. But they warned me once (warning number 2) again I wasn't listening. I once again promised to listen...

But for now lets rewind back to Turkey, where I had been give a document just before I left. It was a document containing channelled information from aliens called "Morros". I read it with an open mind, but didn't take it on board as I have never felt a strong personal connection with the alien races.


But the next day I am working in the general room at Mysteries which I share with two other Clairvoyants & I overhear one of them ask their client what their name is. The client replies "Morro". Now I am starting to wonder if there is more to this, when my colleague gets tounge-tied & says "mother ship" rather than "mother stuff". I go back to my friend's place after work & tell her about it, she is incredibly excited as she has more of a personal connection to this kind of thing than I do. Her excitement also makes me think maybe I need to take whats going on a bit more seriously, so I disclose to my fiance that night on the phone. He is also connected to this arena more than me, but it is not a connection he wants, so it is like a bomb going off between us.


In the morning I awake to see writing on a tea box saying "love & scandal make for sweeter T" this makes me feel better as he calls me sweet T.
I turn on my ipod & the first thing I hear is "This century has many suprises, time to wake up".
I get on a bus that has an ad plastered all over it saying "Planets-mix them up"
I do a reading for a client who wants to know who this man presence is that she is sensing around her. I describe what I am seeing & she then pulls out a picture & asks me to hold it.
I look at a carbon copy of what I just saw in my mind as beautiful tingles download through me.
She tells me it's Alister Crowley. I am shocked as anytime I have touched any picture or book of his I have had an overwhelming feeling of sickness & darkness & needed to put it down. She tells me she believes its because I have a connection with him I am denying. Of course, I deny it!
I then get a bus back that says "monsters verses aliens- whose gonna save us?!"


I go back to Cornwall for the first time since Turkey. I am so happy to be back. I feel a sense of clarity, gratitude, energy & love for both my life in Cornwall & London.
I wonder if a client who has a strong connection to aliens will come back as I haven't seen them for months.
Sure enough, two days later, they come for a session! So I show them the document, they read out aloud :

"hmm, signed Pen of the Golden Age. Alister Crowley, did you know he used to live not far from here. In fact the room you read in at The Healing Star is the room his grandson used to read in."

I am gobsmacked & try to regain my composure, only to loose it again two hours later when my fiance returns home & says to me:


"Did you know Alister Crowley used to live not far from here?"


I ask him to start at the beginning.
It turns out that at the time I was with my client, my fiance was with his colleague (who is also the contact for putting us in touch with the people whose home we are hiring for our handfasting in August. ) & his colleague blurts out of the blue:


"Did you know that the people you are renting the land from nearly bought Alister Crowley's place in Zennor before buying here?"


People start asking me if I know Anna Crowley, (apparently she used to work at Mysteries) & I start to read for a lot of Alice's.

I decide I need to do some research. I find out that Alister Crowley did indeed live in Zennor which is about 5 miles from where I live now. His time here, perhaps not surprisingly is shadowed in gruesome tales. I find out that he was led to Cornwall by his mistress & illegitimate son "Ataturk". This hits me like a hammer in the head as the name Ataturk was another name I had never come across until the last week or so. This time because in Turkey Ataturk is the modern day hero. Everywhere you look there is homage to Ataturk. Even the airports are called after him & his step-daughter. This Ataturk is worshipped by Turkey for doing much good for them.
Whilst in Turkey, I was doing a meet your spirit guides session for someone & one of their guides came through strong with the name Ataturk. I dismissed it, thinking it was just I had seen the name so much.


I also found out that Alister Crowley had a strong link to aliens, in particular ones called greys & reptilians. These ones are known as the more negative kind.

I decide that I have to go to Zennor to find his house, which I believe I do, in pretty much no time at all seeming Zennor is so tiny. I am then left wondering what I should do. Feeling a strong wondering of why am I there.......


That night my sleep is disturbed by my partner saying something controversial in his sleep, to which I immediately said "what?" which woke him, I then told him what happened, he became very unsettled saying he felt like something mischievous made him say it. We both became aware of a dark presence downstairs & he wanted to go down to investigate. I didn't want him to & my little black cat Mystic jumped on his chest keeping him in bed. We opened our favourite book of meditations for guidance & it said "don't look down on death!" So we stayed where we were, but we had a very disturbed night, in our half conscious states I was hearing the funeral toll & my partner was seeing dead spiders which was unnerving as he has a very personal connection to spiders.

That weekend I return to work in London & stay in my friend's Tippee on a balcony in Brixton whilst storms lash Cornwall. I am feeling lucky it's not also happening on the balcony! My friend has the same phone as me which came with a touch screen pen, she lost hers & we were talking about how easily done that would be..The next day I loose it! On the phone I tell my partner who says "at least it wasn't your ipod" (warning number 3) The next day I loose my ipod!

I return to Cornwall after the storm had blown over & see no evidence that it had ever been. The next morning, my partner wakes me to tell me his dream:

"I dreamt there were two planets in the sky & a storm was raging, a car fell out of the sky & there was a dead dinosaur on the ground, a beast tried to eat me & Tom (our other cat) saved me"

I receive a text from a client saying they have to cancel due to the guy that died in ZENNOR at the weekend. I wonder what happened, feeling so shocked. I was there less than a week before wondering what I was to do....

I go into work at St Ives & I see evidence of the storm all around, so many shops flooded & stock lost, our shop was one of them. My colleague tells me that a car blew into the sea at Zennor during the storm & four people were missing. I go white, thinking of my partner's dream.
A lady walks in & starts talking about "The Notebook" which is the first film my fiance & I watched so is special to us. She keeps going on & on about the death scene, how it looks like they got "handfasted" & then just decided to die together, she goes on & on, saying she wants to know how they managed it. I feel unsettled, We are getting handfasted.

When I get home, my partner asks me what I think of his dream, I tell him the news. So he asks me what I think. I say I think his dream was a premonition. That I think the "horizontal rain storm" was a cover up for the other planet to come close, that the planet is linked to the Reptilians (dinosaur) & Alister Crowley (the beast) I am alarmed that the beast was attacking him, & there has been talk & scenes of death so close to us.

We had been sent a package that day, we open it to find a 4 dvd box set. The series is called "Taken" it is about Alien abduction, there are four DVD'S on each of them. There is one person pictured, three of them have men on, one of them a lady. Three men & one lady were involved in the car "accident" in Zennor. Although one man lived & all the others have sadly died as the bodies have been found. Which leaves me wondering if aliens are now more interested in our souls.

I start to feel even more unsettled, everytime synchronicity happens at this level of strength to me it ends in death. The first time it was a friend who committed suicide, the second time an acquaintance went the same way & now four people I didn't even know, yet each time I am guided so strongly & this time was no less. Less than a week ago I was guided there & after completing one step I had a feeling there was more I had to do there but I did not know what.

The my partner unconsciously starts to sing "every night in my dreams I see you that is how I know you go on" this line is from the Titanic song that was played at my daughter's funeral, I have to ask him to stop twice & he still didn't know the exact line he was singing.. (linking back to the dream)
By this time I am getting very upset & he prays to god for a sign to let me know all is good. We go for a walk & as soon as we step outside we are presented with the most beautiful strong double rainbow I have ever seen in my life. I look up & think to myself "its all part of the spectrum & the spectrum makes a very strong beauty" my partner is over the moon & then the lady from where we are getting handfasted (the one who nearly bought Alister Crowley's place) ran past us with a big love heart on her chest...

I start to feel better, but then last week my partner gives up smoking, his health goes down & he starts to feel really agitated, we do a past life & he is taken to a death, & told "he is in the same place, so this time he has to stop it". I spend two hours giving him healing before I leave for London & I feel so exhausted on the journey. I get to my five rhythms dance class & live in hope of having renewed energy once I begin as often happens but I sink lower & feel really upset, sad & angry at whatever has been having what seems like fun & games at my/our expense. Its just not funny.

The Five Rhythms dance is a two hour long free movement meditation, & this one is set in an ancient London Catholic Church, it is quite simply a breathtakingly beautiful & powerful place for this & I start to let my anger & sadness take me over. I get angry at the universe, I let it see what I really think & feel & my dance turns into a type of banishing ritual.
I tell it enough is enough as I swirl around, arms thrashing around, tears burning my eyes & sights of Jesus, stained glass windows & candelabras & incredible stonemasonary surround me.
I fall to the floor & this sadness rises right up from my gut & turns into a real deep cry as it reaches my throat & eyes...
In the circle at the end a girl talks about how sad she feels, she is crying desperately about all the hatred & anger in her country.....TURKEY

I tell my partner this on the phone that night. He laughs & says only I have the balls to tell the universe off! He reminds me once again about having a bit of humility, not getting disturbed & trusting the universe is always right.

The next morning I walk into Kings Cross station & am faced with a huge billboard saying "Sorry for being negative!" I can't even work out whats being advertised. My partner thinks it's hilarious!

My partner has managed to give up smoking & his health was back to normal the next day, all is seeming behind us now.........But even if it isn't, it's just part of the spectrum. Even the most negative souls have a light in their eye........Sometimes we just need to face our deepest darkest fears to know how light, bright & strong we really are.... & after all, we are being light & bright & true to ourselves right now, by having an out & out Tarot wedding/handfasting, which has caused challenges for some family members, we are excavating the taboo, to turn what was once hidden & shrouded in darkness into something exposed into light & love.... Part of me does feel there is some unfinished business, that maybe this exposure will continue, I don't understand it all right now, but I believe one day I will, we all will...


So light & love to every spectrum of your being......................til next time

Tiffany

Monday 2 February 2009

When the student is ready the teacher appears alright!

I have just began teaching Reiki in Mysteries, which I am so happy about as since I shut my shop in London & moved to cornwall, teaching Reiki has been rather difficult.

I get an email last week asking if there was any spaces left on the up & coming Reiki course. I redirect them to Mysteries & ask if that is where I know them from.

They reply to say that her & her partner knew me from Namaste, they only came in once, but from that moment they knew they wanted to learn Reiki with me & then the shop shut & I disappeared.

She had searched to no avail & her partner told her not to worry, that they would find me when the time was right.

Three years later I start teaching Reiki at Mysteries & they happened to come in & discover the leaflet!

As they were relaying this story to the class on Sunday, another guy also clicked! It turns out he also had planned to do it with me then, but I had disappeared! Only he hadn't realised it was me!

He was there for the good of his relationship & after his attunement a book literally flew of the shelf behind him right at him, it was called "the history of love!"

Wow! I love you spirit! Thankyou!

You are so funny, as mercury turns direct it seems you are really communicating through printed words! (see also post below!)

GOD IS A JOURNALIST!

Real life Joan of Arcadia

Has anyone seen Joan of Arcadia?

It is a tv programme about a girl called Joan who gets visited by god everyday. But in the guise of an ordinary person.

Now this can be a relatively normal phenomena for us everyday of our lives as you could say we are all part of god but I swear this really happened to me on Thursday...

Thursday! Oh god Thursday! I got hacked & a virus on Thursday & it spread to all my contacts- which in turn spread to all their contacts & so on. I should write a book- "How to loose friends & alienate people!"

It all happened because once again my self sabotage voice called mr Rush took over my self empowerment voice of miss intuition.

I was sat at a station kicking myself thinking "I still haven't learnt, not even after loosing 4.5 million on the lottery that time." When a lady smiling at me enigmatically & calmly came over to me, she had a compassionate feel. She didn't say a word, just handed me a newspaper & walked off! I look at the headline & it says "loss of 4.5 million"!

I couldn't work out why! As if I needed reminding! It had already occured to me! All I can think is that spirit have a wicked sense of humour! In more ways than one!